Ryan Bell woke up screaming.

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His cries weren’t like those of a man who had suffered a terrible nightmare – more the tormented shrieks of someone enduring real, unrelenting agony. It had been a dream of death, and even while the awful details blurred upon awakening, Bell knew he’d experienced a hideous and brutal demise. Claws had ripped into his flesh. Cruel impacts had shattered his bones. Blood... there had been so much blood...

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The last scream perished in Bell’s throat, strangled by the wash of waking reality that swept through him. Thank God, it had just been a dream. He was alive and safe, on the bed in his camping trailer. No pain, no injuries, no blood. Even so, it was hard to shake the residues of shock: his body was icy-cold beneath the warm blankets; he shivered from head to toe; his heart was hammering as if trying to escape his chest; and his face was running with tears.

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What the hell had caused a dream in which some kind of wild animal tore me apart? his mind cried. Okay, I had parked deep in the woods, and the area had been spooky, but I hadn’t even seen a possum... let alone... whatever I’d imagined was mauling and devouring me...

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This afternoon, stumbling into bed after drinking too much beer, Bell hadn’t expected to sleep. He’d assumed that once he closed his eyes, he’d see Susanne, and the pain of their breakup would keep him awake. Maybe he’d drift off eventually, but dreams of her – even of the good times – would have left him dismal and yearning when he woke.

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Instead: a late-night horror-shocker, starring himself and a nightmarish abomination of razor-sharp claws. Well, if his unconscious brain had wanted to take his mind off Susanne, it had succeeded.

 

*     *     *

 

Bell had first spoken to Susanne Keeler in his last term of high school. He had seen her before many times, since she’d been in most of his classes, but they had never talked. Susanne had been a lousy student, being not-too-bright and lazy. A girl who reckoned she’d get through life just on her beauty, her undeniable charm and her parents’ wealth. She also used people if she needed too. By contrast, Bell had been a hard-worker who just wasn’t very capable, and a person who could be relied upon to help others if possible.

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One afternoon, Susanne had approached Bell and confessed she was in deep trouble with her mother and father. They’d grown sick of her awful grades and planned to cut her allowance to zero. Her one hope had been to show real improvement in the last term – and she’d wanted his help. How could anyone have refused the shapely, raven-haired beauty? One look into her sapphire blue eyes had dissolved any conceivable argument. Over two months they had gone from study buddies to dating. Bell thought he’d found the love of his life.

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Skip five years and the couple had still been an item. They hadn’t moved in together. Bell had a crappy apartment in town, and he worked two jobs – evenings at a diner, most days at the recycling plant. Susanne lived at her parents’ house, allegedly trying to become a painter, sponging on her family’s funds and luxury. He had remained the hard-worker, achieving little; she had remained lazy and had no intention of trying to accomplish anything in her life. It’s said ‘opposites attract’, and this seemed the case for Bell and Susanne: they saw each other often, enjoyed each other’s company and both stayed loyal. However, their relationship never progressed. Susanne had dismissed the idea of getting engaged as old-fashioned, instead advocating for them to ‘just have fun’. Bell’s suggestion of them living together had been pushed aside often. In fact, most of everything he’d wanted or suggested had never happened.

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When Bell’s uncle Terry had died, he’d willed his nephew an ancient camping trailer. ‘Still serviceable, even if it needs a bit of work... but I think it’ll give you some fun’. An idea had set in Bell’s mind on the day he’d hauled the trailer home. How about a holiday with Susanne? They’d never had one. It could cement their relationship, finally bring them close to a sense of true commitment. He’d begun saving from his meagre incomes, started fixing up the trailer, and had declared the news to his beloved girlfriend. Susanne had seemed enthusiastic. She’d suggested they stay near a beach – they could swim in the ocean every day, watch the sunrises and sunsets, and thoroughly revel in every minute.

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Bell had once heard a saying: if the future seems brighter than ever before... it’s because the bloody sun has exploded on us.

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At eight o’clock yesterday morning, Bell had pulled up outside Susanne’s home. He’d been up for hours to make sure everything was right, cleaning and polishing his car and the trailer until they gleamed (well, apart from the cracks and patches of rust). Susanne had come out to see him and he’d wondered why she hadn’t brought any luggage. Probably wants me to fetch her bags, I expect. Why carry if she can use me as a slave?

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The young woman had dumped him with the coldness of an abattoir slaughterer cutting an animal’s throat.

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“Is this the best I can expect?” Susanne had begun. “The best you’ll ever be able to do for me? A shitty wreck pulled by your shitty little car, taking me to some seaside dump where I might catch pneumonia? We’ve known each other for years and you never get any better. You never improve. You’ve got no ambition, no drive, no gumption. I can’t carry on a life beside a man who’ll never be able to give me what I need.”

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The words had cut at Bell like serrated knives. He’d completely missed the irony that the woman speaking them had never (and would never) work a day in her life, had never done anything to improve herself, and was almost too idle to keep breathing.

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All Bell had managed to say was: “But, I thought...”

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To which Susanne had replied: “We’re through. Don’t ever come back here again.”

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She’d turned on her heel and stormed back inside her parents’ mansion.

 

*     *     *

 

Heartbroken, Bell had sat in his car for a full thirty minutes.

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Today was supposed to be the best day of my life – of our lives – and in a few seconds it’s become the absolute worst.

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Emotions had roiled inside him. Disbelief. The unfairness of it: why had she allowed him to prepare the holiday for weeks if she’d planned to dump him before they even left? How could she say he didn’t work hard? Or that he had no ambition? Okay, he was never going to become rich or famous. It didn’t mean he wasn’t a decent, caring man. Tears had filled his eyes, and he’d let them spill down his cheeks.

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The turmoil in his heart and mind brought him clarity. Bell started to recall all the times she’d turned on him, or manipulated him, or ignored his feelings. Had Susanne just been toying with him all along? Had she used him as a doormat?

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Resolution followed, despite his sobbing. Their friendship and love were over. If she could hurt him this badly once, she could do it again. Even if she rang and apologised, he’d never be able to trust her and he’d always know she was ready to discard him. Time to make a clean break.

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Bell had booked a week off both his jobs for the holiday, and bought enough food and drink to last two people at least seven days. Why not go away alone, allow himself time to rest his wounded heart?

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It didn’t take long to decide where to go. Epwich Woods were immense and only a few hours’ drive away. If Bell drove along one of the many dirt tracks, he’d vanish beyond the treeline. His cell phone would be out of signal range and he wouldn’t be tempted to either check for messages or to phone Susanne. Peace and quiet. A solitude where he could cry again if he wanted or howl at the moon if the fancy took him. The serenity of the forest: its colours, scents and sounds. He could use nature to heal himself.